Well, it’s hard to believe that 31 days have passes us all up in this new year already. For some I am sure the time was where it was needed to be and for others like myself, well let’s just say that it was about finding out deep what I could take as a human being. I mean if you look back on all 31 days would you say to yourself that they were all good? Would you say the 31 days where 50 50? I mean I like to look at my last 31 days as something that I have never been through in my life, and what I mean is that these days made me realize how important life really was to me.
I mean being sick with liver failure is something I never thought that I would be saying in these last 31 days of my life. And to be honest the struggles with this was really a big test to me in the ways that I have never been tested before. I mean there where days I didn’t want to wake up, and then there was days that I thought were going to be my last since I spend some of them in the ER.
I learned that we are stronger than what we give ourselves credit for, and even when the darkness is upon us, that we can over come things if we want to believe in that we can. I had many days of wondering if I couldn’t do this anymore, and then there where days that were simple in the fact that nothing major happened to me health wise and to me that was a win, not going into the doctors office or visiting the ER at the late evening hours. Sometimes nothing was just plain and simple okay with me.
Now, I can sit back and look at these 31 days and realize that there is another month coming up with only 28 days in it. I ask myself what am I going to do better than this past month. I know one thing, I don’t want all my posts to be sad and depressing to read. But I do tell you how I do feel about things from my point of view and to me that is okay, like I said before this isn’t about making money or having a great life, this is a place for me to come and vent my issues and to me that is helping understand that the world isn’t really a bad place, that there are lots of people struggling in it like myself.
To close this post out, I went outside last night and looked at the stars and normally lately they haven’t been out due to the weather and snow we are getting here. But anyways, I wanted to tell you my one wish that I made, and that wish was that I could have a blessed life and find true happiness for myself, and that if my true love is out there that maybe she would come in the months to come. I don’t want to live alone anymore, I want to trust someone again, and show them that love does work even in times that are dark and scary. I know that God has someone out there the question is who, and when is God going to bring that person to me was that wish.
With this all said, if my true love is out there and reading this, I am truly sorry that I didn’t find you earlier in my life. And I hope that maybe down the road that you would give me some hope in the sense that I don’t have to this alone. I didn’t think that I would end my 31 days by saying all this, but it is true. Love is a powerful, Love is passion, and Love is something that you can’t live without. I truly believe in this. I just hope that the stars where alined when I made that wish. With this said off to another month and who knows right? Anything can happen on any given day. Until then stay healthy, and love one another…