Well, here I am off to another day and I am first thankful that I had that chance to wake up again. I know that sound crazy, but to me it really not. Even though my life is in a rough patch I still have to be thankful for what I have in front me. I used to think that I would live forever, and now with my current health issues, I don’t think that for a second anymore. I remember growing up and thinking the world is going to give me everything I need. And the older I got life started changing and started to take things away from me. Things like people and friends that you thought were going to last forever. Even family goes on that list as well.
I can blame life on these things that happen. I can only prepare myself to know that the sooner that I come to realizing that I am going to die, the better I can start to live. There is nothing more harder in this life to realizing that your aren’t going to be here forever. But if you look at it from that your dying then you can live a better life knowing that you can do the things in front of you better.
Where do I find my strength in a time of darkness in my life is that hard question I have to ask myself from time to time. I find my strength in God first off, I realize that he has the plans for all of us here. But when it comes to my plans, I have to start to think different. I used to think that I wanted to know what God had for me in this life. And one day this past week I came to an conclusion that all God wants from me is to live. And I need to stop having the pity parties in my head that maybe no one cares, when there are tons of people in this world that have the same things I have going on.
I was never much into pity parties, but I know we all have gone through them at some points in your life. My pity parties in my head are the ones going that this isn’t fair and why do I have to be going through what I am going through at this time. Why can’t you or somebody get these issues? And I had to stop myself, because of my gift as a spiritual advisor. I wasn’t here to hurt people because of my pains, but I am here to teach people something about my pains that could save a life out there.
I am working on these things more and more everyday. Coming to this blog and sharing my feelings to the world has taught me a lot in the last few days being here. It has taught me that I am not alone in this world. And that it’s okay to feel your feelings. And it doesn’t matter what people think about you, it all matters on your feelings and how you want to treat the world.
So, with this said this mid morning, I am going to make this day full of blessings. Even if it’s just one blessing, I will accomplish more than sitting around and telling myself that I can’t do anything, when the sun is shinning here out my window and telling me yes, you can make the difference out there. So, I will walk away from this blog for a short while and go for that walk, or that drive and feel that free spirit that I am on the inside of who I am really am…