Only as a dog-tired man wants an extra blanket on a cold night; he’d rather lie there shivering than get up and find one. It is easy to see why the lonely become untidy, finally, dirty and disgusting.
Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be, or so it feels, welcomed with open arms. But go to him when your need is desperate, when all other help is in vain, and what do you find?
A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be empty house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was strong as this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?
Of coarse it’s easy enough to say that God seems absent at our greatest need because He is absent, non-existent. But then why does He seem so present when, to put it quite frankly, we don’t ask for him?
These are some of thoughts I feel with my last post about struggles. I don’t want to question God’s purpose but to put it like I said before I just want to find that peace that has been a long waiting my soul.