The game of Memory…

Well here I sit this evening and ponder my next thoughts here…

I mean I am so lost for words this evening, and that isn’t like me to feel this way at this time. I feel like where is the hope in this. My life has been full of twists and turns for me. I just want to be on a path where my life isn’t going to have them twists or turns. I mean I know there is no way of getting around it, but I am trying to find what normal is for me. And I know that there is no such thing as normal for everyone out there, but I am trying so hard to find a plan to be on for awhile until I figure out my situation here.

I went to the doctors this afternoon, and I found out that the nervous system is playing a huge part to what I am feeling. I am loosing my memory of the simple everyday life tasks. I never thought I would be forgetting my birthday, or how to get back to my house. Or even yet what are my dogs names at times. When your walking around your house your balance is so off your walking into doors. Even at night when you wake up you get scared in your own bedroom thinking is this my house. And if it’s my house why don’t I remember anything in it.

I mean I know I can come to this computer and write a post. But then again why can’t I remember my dogs name, or remember that I have to drink water so I don’t dehydrate myself. You never realize how good things are until your having these issues like I am. I mean I am 41 years old with a lot of life yet, so I think. But when your forgetting the simple things of where you are. These are becoming problems. I learned that these issues of memory are serious for me at this time my doctor said and that they are nothing to play with.

I am writing this post to remind myself of my issues more than anything here. I know this seems crazy to who is ready this, but I do know how to get here yet, and that is hope for me at this time. I just hope my memory doesn’t get worse than what I am feeling at this time.

I always thought growing up that I would live forever and have the life of what everyone dreams of here, and then when your health starts to fail you then it’s an eye opener in the sense of that your not going to live forever. My liver and pancreas is failing me at this time due to this it is causing brain issues like memory loss due to the toxins not flushing through my liver at this time. I am being poisoned by my own liver and it’s causing other organs to start to fail. My big tests are on Friday morning and I am afraid of what they are going to find out to be honest with you. But telling you what is going on with me, might explain to the reasons my posts are so frustrating to me. This really isn’t like my to feel these thoughts. But when your sick as I am they say it perfect to feel these thoughts.

I just have a hard time believing in anything at this time. But I will continue to move forward until I can’t post anymore due to these serious issues I am facing. But in the end thank you to all that have taken the time to send your comments to me. And I hope to maintain what I can the best way I know how with this sickness. God blessings to you and your families out there, and remember one thing if I could tell you something here.  If your texting or looking at Facebook or any social media device, take the time to put them down and go give your family and friends or husbands or wife a call when you can. Hearing a voice is important these days. And the next time you see a loved one give them a hug, even if they don’t want one, because you never know what can happen from day to day, or from minute to minute in your life.

These are the things I wanted to tell you this evening…

I will be posting again soon with update and hopefully better stories of what I am all really about here. Until then take care of one another…

9 thoughts on “The game of Memory…

  1. You are right and without our health we have nothing and the quality of our lives diminish.
    I have the tests ahead of me as well and for the longest I have been afraid of what the news might be. I preferred the ignorant bliss of the unknown. But I think I’m ready to know what I am dealing with as my body is poisoning the rest of me as well. Check out my post about oil pulling with coconut oil. Your mouth/tongue is connected to all of your organs and it is said to remove toxins from your body. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose trying it. Feel better….

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well I hope your blood work turns out the way you want it too. I mean I hope you have a great year and get your stuff behind you too. I’m really nervous about Friday that’s when I go under. So I hope and pray I get through this on Friday.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and praying for the best. Whatever test that lies ahead and whatever news comes your way, we are with you in thought.
        Sometimes you don’t know how strong you are until being strong is all there is left. Remember this and command the good into your life. Laws of attraction…you know and you got this.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I didn’t know if you seen my latest post tonight, and I am lost for words so I came to you because you have always the right words say to me. I am sorry this evening to bug you, but again it something I felt was right at this time. Thank you for listening to me this evening…


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