Watching the snow come down…

Well today was another day with a few answer to my health issues that are going on. I am finding out with these issues how bad the health care system really is. I mean I been trying to tell the doctor my issues and it’s like they are not understanding my conditions here at all. Then on top of that to give me medicine that will make my liver hurt more isn’t what I was looking for today. I mean make sure you read up on what the doctor tells you to take before taken it. I learned that the side effects are the side effects that I still have going on now and why would I want to make things more worse in the sense of what I am feeling at this time.

I know that when you have more than one doctor looking at your case it becomes difficult to understand the key issues of what going on completely. I mean I have told them everything the best way I can about my issues and it just seems like I am talking to the wall lately, and then to give me medicine that will help, and then find out that it won’t just cause more set backs for me. And this is really hard to take at times because I just want to be over this feeling of not having hope here when it comes to my liver and it’s issues.

I will keep praying for a better day ahead of me. When all else falls in your life at least you can count on God to get you through the rest of the way. This is where you really test your faith in your life and have to put your trust into him. I know that we are not here to live forever and we all know that we have a curtain amount of time that we are playing with. And, I hope to get over this soon. I am afraid and scared to be honest with you. I feel like I never been down this road before, and that there is no one feeling what I am going through at this time. But then you find out that the world is full of people like myself struggling with issues. Again, this isn’t about a pity party here, this is about how to live through these tough times in your life.

My energy levels are getting weaker as the days move ahead, as I sit here watching the snow fall this evening, I try to take in the beauty of what the snow is doing. The snow is covering up all the dead things that have died this fall. And when you see the things all cover up it gives you hope in the sense that when spring arrives a new beginning will happen for the plants and the trees again. I look forward to that as well, I want a new beginning with my health too. And again, this is where I have to keep moving forward no matter what. My faith is being tested, and I have to be alright with this. I have no choice. But until then learn to keep loving yourself, so that you can go out and love one another…

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