Well, I am home resting today, and I told myself what a ride it has been with my health and all the ups and down lately with these liver issues. To tell you the truth I am not a drinker or smoker, and to have this many problem problems is hard to believe at my young age of 41. But I am learning that there are big lessons with these problems. And these lessons are making me stronger a long the way to knowing that I will pull through this, it’s just a matter of time when that will happen for me. I can’t let my life stop because of these pains that I am feeling inside. I mean I want to start writing about the things that are changing people’s lives out there like I was doing before I was getting sick here with this liver and it’s issues.
Today it is raining outside here looking out my window, and I am trying to see that God is at work washing away the things that needed to be cleaned at this time. I am in that process as well washing this pain away that I feel lately with my health. I want to just go out there and feel that cold rain on my skin, but I am too cold for that lately. And I have to keep my body warm due to my conditions at this time. But looking at the rain and seeing how it is falling something reminds me of my life and all my falls that I have made it in it.
There is nothing wrong with crying here, and I have done that in the last few weeks about everything that has happened in my life. And they say crying is good for the soul, and I starting to realize that it is really okay to cry. Sometimes looking out the window I think that those raindrops are God’s tears, I think he sees a lot of pain of what we did as human everyday. And I wouldn’t want to be God, for his pains are big as we keep suffering down here on this Earth.
In the end, I am not going to give up, I am going to continue to fight the fight, and I am going to make a difference everyday even if it is a real small difference the point being is that life doesn’t slow down even when your sick. It keeps moving no matter what, and maybe that is my lesson today, we keep moving on. That is what is about in the end. The pains will be there, but you only have one chance at this and why sit there and let life beat you down. So, with this said learn to love yourself and go out there and love one another…