Surgery is the new word…

Well being in the ER for over 6 hours now has told me that my problems went from minor to major here in this short time. They are going to be removing my gallbladder and part of my liver that has been infected for quite some time. There are a lot of risks involved with these two organs alone. Then the third thing that is major is my pancreas.

They as in the medical staff are going to look and see when they first tore the pancreas what the scar tissues is really doing. Three weeks ago in a process of working on my liver they tore part of the pancreas. Well off coarse that did not help the problem at hand. But anyways three major organs, with three major problems.

So, they will be removing part of the liver and gallbladder first then coming in behind they will scope out the pancreas to see what’s really going on. My body has been fighting this over 7 months and counting here.

But in the end, I will try my hardest here at the hospital to write a quick post to letting you know what’s going on from time to time. Am I scared you might be asking yourself? Well that would be a big yes due to having such a major surgery. But my tiger spirit if your out there, this white crane is going to fight the hardest fight of its life. And I hope this all goes to plan. So that we can keep walking down this path together in the end of things here….

But until next time like I always say take care of yourself and the others around you…

Walking with my friend…

Well back in the hospital once again. Round 17 since beginning of January. Hard to believe I had 17 ER runs in, but I also have almost 28 days of being in the hospital as well being under the nurses and doctors care. Found out that they spent a total over 890,000 dollars on me, and the weirdest part of all that money spend I still don’t have a clear path to what is really going on with my liver and pancreatic issues at hands here.

This crane has been wounded badly. And I’m getting to the point if I’m ever going to fly again straight here. I feel so lost for words at this time. I know my tiger and snake and panther friends are still with me. And I know that meeting that special tiger coming on to WordPress has been a true blessing. I have walked this trail with my tiger friend lately and she keeps telling me to be strong.

Well I’m at my levels that I can’t be strong like this all the time. I’m fighting the fight with this health and all that keeps happening to me is that I’m getting more and more sick as the days go by here. I’m loosing weight like 35 pounds in the last three weeks. To eating really small meals. And been trying my hardest to staying alive here.

I just want to thank my special friend that tiger out there for being along with me as we walked down some dark paths. And what I keep learning from my tiger friend is not to give up yet. Well tiger if your reading this, I can honestly tell you I have never been so scared lately of all this stuff that has happened to me. And I’m so glad that your hear with me in spirit. 

With this all said, again feel the love that I share with you when again and wrap my wings around your warm fur. And just know if this is the end of the road depending what they find out, just know that I will always be apart of this incredible friendship we have built together in the short time of knowing you.. 

But let’s not worry to soon, and let’s keep walking down that path together no matter what happens in the end….

Middle of March…

Well another day on the horizon here and I’m waking up a little later than normal here. I guess I needed to sleep a little longer then normal here due to my body needed it at this time. But it’s Thursday and I was thinking to myself about how fast the weeks are moving lately.  I mean it just passed the middle of March already. And to me that seems so unreal at times just thinking about it.

But then again time is time and it’s going to move no matter what we think of do. As we do get older the faster it seems to come and go. And our bodies start to age differently for sure in the sense that we aren’t 18 anymore. And boy my mind feels like it’s 18 but my body is telling me different for sure here.

I guess in the end I am going to close another short post by saying make the best of these days, because who knows how many you got left. Enjoy this gift in front of you called life. And with that said off to doing something that I’m going to enjoy and that’s taking the dogs for a walk in the woods…

The winds today…

Well the sun is out again this early morning and I woke up to the sounds of the wind hitting the house. The winds always remind me about the trees and how they talk to each other. Trees give us air to breath and I find it important to listen to the wind and the trees lately. I know the spirit of the trees are telling us some kind of message. Maybe it’s a very simple message, and then maybe it’s a message that you need to sit down and take some time to really understanding it.

I think the trees are telling me to keep moving forward with my plans as my health goes and also just to take some more time to seeing the miracles around me as well. So I am going to get outside on this cold day and feel the wind on my face and just know how good I really have it at this time.

In closing just listen to the things around you today for you never know what your going to be hearing. Be good to each other and just know that things are in motion that aren’t going to stop in the sense of who you really are….

Looking into the tigers eyes…

Well, here I go again about something that I have passion for and that is one of the animals that I have studied in the martial arts in the past years and that is of coarse the tiger. And I thought that I would take some time out of my day to explain the tiger and it’s purpose in my life and others. Well to start this everyone knows that tigers are some of the most powerful animals in mother nature. And the things about tigers are people think that they are only after one thing is that is killing prey for there survival, and yes that is the part of the tigers way of living. And there is many other functions of this great animal, but I am going to talk about the spirit of the tiger and what it means in us.

I will share that I like to look at the tiger to see it strength and how it carries itself on the field that it walks. But at the same time the tiger likes to be calm walking down them paths alone and sometimes that is where this animal finds it most peace with this world. In my experiences in my life I have been both places where the tiger has gone. And in the end I always found myself on that path of finding some kind of peace at the end of my days. I know that when you understand the things around you more it seems like you get less frustrated with the things that are so important that you really thought that was.

See a tiger always looks you in the eyes before it figures out what it’s going to do with you. I mean the tiger can just stare into your eyes and maybe do nothing, and yet at the same time the tiger might surprise you and just want to play with you in the sense of letting you live to see another day. Then there is the part of the tiger when he looks you in the eyes, he or she sees a pain that you been carrying for quite some time in your life. When I would work the forms of the tiger it always brought the best out of me when I studied the arts. Sometimes Master would tell me to not work so hard to becoming a tiger, work on the inner soul of that peace of becoming that tiger. And then there was lessons when Master would say to me that you need to bring out that tiger today. Which meant give it everything you had, and sometimes I never felt that I truly could respect that tiger in the sense of bringing it all out in the session that we were in.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized the power of what the tiger really meant to me. Sometimes I learn lessons way to late in my life when things happen, and you sit there and tell yourself why didn’t you listen when you had that chance in your life. But getting back to this story I just remembered all these stories which might seem crazy to you, and maybe they don’t make sense now, but trust me even you take something out of this even a sentence then you have looked into the tigers eyes in this post.

I will leave you with this final story, and to me this was an important story that I never have forgotten. When the tiger came down the path and he seen the crane, the  snake, the panther, and the dragon. He stopped in his tracks. The tiger was so surprised to see all these animals together in one spot. But the tiger was really thinking who he was going to kill first and then second and so on, and then the snake looked into the tigers eyes, and asked him why he was so angry to see all of us co-existing on the path. The tiger just started to get angrier and angrier seeing what he was seeing. And the next thing is the tiger attacked the animals that were in front of him, but found out quickly that the snake already put some poison into the tigers veins. See, the tiger thought that he could out move the other four and paid the price of getting really sick. The next thing the tiger passed out on the trail to to the poisonous antidote that the snake gave him. See snakes can control over how much to inject into someones body at one time. So, the snake just gave the right amount of antidote to just make the tiger sleepy for awhile.

After a few hours of sleeping the tiger realized that he wasn’t as strong as he first thought that he was. The tiger woke up slowly to seeing the snake looking at him, and then the crane was in the background with the panther and the dragon well he was just smiling at the tiger for what he had done before. And the tiger noticed the dragon smiling at him, and the tiger was asking why are you smiling at me dragon, and the dragon replied you were like us at one time in our lives as well. And look what happened to you tiger, you had one of the smallest animals take you out and lucky the snake didn’t kill you from that. And the tiger was very thankful for that the snake spared his life.

As the tiger was getting to his feet the panther came up to him and helped him by telling him that you are apart of this world and that you are needed with us in this journey and we know that you can bring something into this world that is needed. And the tiger asked what can I bring to this world. And the panther told the tiger that you can bring anger when it’s necessary to bring it, and then you can bring happiness and calmness out of the things that matter the most to people. ¬†And the tiger said that isn’t that what you four are doing at this time, and the panther smiled and told the tiger lets all take a walk down this path and let me tell you what we all do here in this world and our jobs and how we make things happen. So, that is what the tiger did he started his journey with this four that he never knew anything about before.

With this all said go out and do things that make you uncomfortable at this time and feel what’s different in your life when you learn that struggling is actually okay. The tiger is taking that walk and learning this message as well, not just once but everyday for that matter. And as I continue to struggle with everything in my life at this current time getting ready to loose an old lover and best friend, I feel that this story fits me to the reasons of that I am angry about why this is happening to me, and then I have that snake spirit telling me to be calm and that it’s going to be okay, and then I have this tiger that has been a big part of this and she tells me too that what your feeling is going to pass. I have become close in spirit with this tiger I have met. But, I just have to tell myself in these lessons that this too will pass. So, I try to tell this story with using my animal spirits around me, and sometimes you might not understand the purpose of these stories, but they sure help me in a time of trouble.

With this all this said, go love everyone around you and continue to pull your inner channels with the spirits around you.


Spring Storm…

Another March storm has hit the area today. Today totals will reach around 4 to 7 inches of fresh new snow for our region. Which I guess I would have to say that we are still into winter as of yet. But snow is always a good thing I think like I have talked about before. Nothing wrong cleanses the world that I’m in at this time. Which is a good thing that Mother Nature takes the time to do.

Well off to another Monday here. And I’m still alive and in one piece for starters. Today I will be running around in this snow getting things done for myself that needs to get done. Off to the doctors office then my father and I will go have a nice lunch together and just talk over the things that matter the most at this time.

But I will be keeping this post short but just wanted to share this last note that I hope everyone this week will take some time to focus on themselves. I just think it’s important to slow down a bit and make sure your where your at in your life. I don’t think enough people take that time out of there days just to focus on simple things. I mean just take 5 minutes is all I’m saying to just be happy that your walking around and breathing in all this great air that the trees have giving to us. Just what ever you want to be thankful in the end is all I’m asking from you this week.

In the end, be good to yourself and the things around you…

Daylight Savings Time…

Well we all woke up to less sleep this morning due to Daylight savings day. And for me it takes a week getting used to the change of loosing that hour of sleep. It always important to listening to your body when it comes to sleep. We usually sleep about a quarter of our life away. But feeling the energy we get is something more important and how that makes us function is even more important in the end.

I brought this all up because it’s important to take the time to understand what your body needs and it’s also important to feel the spirit around you when your more rested. I been thinking about a lot of things lately and I would have to say what’s more troubling is knowing I’m going to loose that best friend that I fell in love with over 20 years ago in a matter of days.

I just can’t wrap my head around this for some strange reason today. I mean I know we aren’t together anymore. But I feel at times I am because I relive the memories in my head of those great times we had together. See in the end that’s all you have of that person is some old pictures and them memories. I just feel like that it’s not fair that this is happening to me. I’m battling my health and know loosing a great friend in a few days.

But I have to remember life isn’t fair and never was meant to be fair. But I will just have to re-group my thoughts today and still try to make something out of this day. There are still good things I have to focus on and that’s how I am going to be taken this day. I just had to clean my thoughts out of my head and put them in this post. But I guess it’s that time to get this new day started and make things happen.

So in closing go see someone that you haven’t seen in awhile and spend some that precious time with them for you never know what could happen from the days to come. Time is a gift and remember that it has no price tag on it. Tell that person that you love them and put your arms around them and embrace that warmth of that hug around your heart. 

With this all said, be good to each other…