Sun is shinning…

Today the sun is out and my daughter is dancing with the dogs outside at the moment. After she done dancing then off to feed the horses and then feed the cat as well. My daughter has so much passion for animals. And she was excited to see that the coyotes ate the food she left out for them last night as well. Today I got up at 330 in the morning and I haven’t look back since. I been getting caught up on some important paperwork, and that is my will in case something happens to me that my daughter will be okay in this world. And just writing in my daughters life journal this morning was even good for me. I am in that mood that nothing is going to get into my way from this point forward. Yes, I do not feel good more thank half the time but I look at it as who really cares, this now is about my daughter and to tell you the truth she is giving me a lot of drive today. And I haven’t felt this in quite some time to be honest with you.

So, today we are going into town and getting some fresh ice cream and we might even go swimming depending on the water. My daughter loves the water and the waves. So, I was thinking about the water and how it is a healer in the process of who we are as humans. I mean water is a cleaner to our souls. I think that water can heal us in so many ways. I know that I haven’t been feeling that good lately and I think it is important that I have some go times with my daughter.

Here is another note I wanted to talk about is that I know that I am going to beat this pancreatic issue no matter what like I have said before. The bigger thing is that no matter what happens to me in the end that my daughter will know the truth about her parents and how much we really loved her in the end. And I know that my daughter is going to need me for the long haul. And I am ready for that journey with her. And I think when school finishes this week that we are going to take a road trip and make this summer a blast. I think that we are going to drive to the east coast and make some great memories. I need to get away from the doctors for a few weeks and just have that time with my daughter. I mean if the medical staff thinks that there might not be anymore options for me at this time, then screw it,  I am going to make things happen on my end of things of coarse.

But I am only going to worry what is ahead of me now, and that is going swimming with that little coyote and just having a great day ahead of me at this time. And I know that going to town and I am going to find someone with more struggles today and I am going to make time for that special person that I am going find. That is what life means to me at this very moment, it’s about helping people understanding there struggles, so that I can understand my own as well. But until then take care of yourself and others around you.

May Day is here…

Off and running strong today, for I feel that life is going to give me a gift of some sores today. And what that is who knows, but I need to remain strong for my family and friends around me. Going to the doctors office again to have more testing done is not my cup of tea, but I will start to make this apart of me. For I was thinking last night about how I keep running away from this sickness and then the light came on for me this morning and I told myself why I am I running for? I mean I am not going to get better if I keep running in my mind, so I decided to make it apart of me today, and except that this is what it’s going to be in the end for me. So, that is what I did I took responsibility for my ways of thinking and made this happen. I mean when your sick you never want to tell yourself that your really sick with a possibility of dying. I mean I have to look at this head on for the first time and I am going to do just that. I feel that fighting this is my head wasn’t the way I should of been looking at it. But now that I have my head on straight for the first time in a long time, I feel unstoppable at this time. And that to me is a great feeling.

And be unstoppable is a great wonderful thing at this time. This crane wants to fly higher than ever before. I want to fly as high as the clouds and look down and realize that I am free and that I am going to get better in the sense of who I am. But this is a short message for me today, and also it is the start of the new month. And to me the month of May can bring many great things to those who at willing to make that difference. Remember that everyday is a gift, there are no guarantees for the sun to shine or have another day of living. I think that we are all used to thinking, yep another day has gone by and tomorrow I will do what ever I need to do. But then again there might not be that chance of doing anything tomorrow if you don’t appreciate what in front of you right now. And for me I am going to appreciate the things that are a known thing for me, and that is my family and my spiritual friends that I have left in this world.

So, go make this month some of the best memories you can make for yourself. Live for the moment and learn to live in the others that are around you. Take and do what makes you truly happy. That’s what life is about at this time. Nothing else should matter to you. So with this said this crane is going to make the best of what is ahead of me, and I am not going to worry about the things I have no control over, but I will instead worry about the ones I do have control of. And that is the people I put myself around.  So be good to yourself and the others around you…