Did you ever feel like you could not get the words out that you wanted to say to someone? I mean that happened to me yesterday and I still am pondering why I could not get what I needed to get out. And for the simple reasons I felt like it was really not going to be a big deal, but it ended up being a big deal in the end for me. My best friend of 35 years had a major disappointment this weekend when it came to one his children. I have known these children since they came into this world. I mean I was in the in the room actually while they were born. But the point is that I watch these children become amazing kids, and this weekend I was set back to find out that one of the children wanted to end his life. And he was only 15 years old. And lucky enough for my best friend he got there in time and rescued his son.
But talking to him last night in my office until 5AM this early morning. I found out that I had no words to say to him about what happened to his son and to why this happened to him. I mean there was no signs of anything wrong with the child, his grades were good and he was being responsible in every other way possible. So, for me that was a total shock of events that I never seen coming.
But having my friend over here at my office trying to come up with the words was like impossible for him, because he felt like this was never going to happen to him. I mean that is a parents worst nightmares that you never want to bury your child. I mean your child should be burying you. But the point of this he was sitting in the chair just lost and I felt bad that I could not comfort him. I mean 35 years of friendship and he comes over to tell me this news and I had nothing to say or do to helping him with this. I mean that is what friends are for, they are there to help you in every way possible and this time he needed me and I failed him. I mean I have a child and she is 7 years old and she will be 8 this coming year. And I would never think in a million years that my child is even thinking these thoughts about killing herself. I mean she has a great life, yes it is not perfect but you do the best as you can as a father to making sure you don’t have to go through what my best friend at this current time is going through.
I mean life is not easy and if anyone tells you that it is, then they need to see a therapist soon. I mean there is nothing easy in the sense of your friends and your family. I feel like that I wish that I had the answers to these feelings that he is going through at this time and I don’t because I could never feel what he is going through, and that is where the pains and struggles come into play. I know that I have talked about this pain and suffering before in my past posts, but what you have to remember is and I have to remember is to not let the pain of others get into your soul. When that happens you can not be there for that person because your heart is full of the dark things like the person your helping. Now this is easier said then done, for we are humans and we are going to feel that pain. But we can not let ourselves live in it for too long.
With that said I am here writing my feelings down in this post, because I was really lost, and do not worry for being lost is not a bad thing, but I will find the path again, and when I do, I hope to have them words to helping my friend out. I mean that is what life is really about and that is to help people the best way you can. So with this said I know what I need to do is just be there for him the best way possible and that is even to just have a good set of ears for listening.
So in end thanks for all that read my posts, I mean I know that they don’t make any sense at times, but I never said I was a great writer, but when it comes to my feelings I am not scared to share them. I mean I like to think that someone might read this and go to me at some point thanks for sharing that post, I mean you saved my life in the sense of what you truly said. To me I could not ask for anything better then that, I mean I am not about money or fame here, I want to be as normal as I can possibility can be. So, with that said be good to yourself and the others around you…